"The Duchess" is my 1987 Type W126 Mercedes-Benz 560SEL. The 560SEL is a car that, in the 80s, was dubbed "The Addams Family Dragster" by Autocar, and some years later named as the greatest saloon car of all time by Sir Stirling Moss. But before getting The Duchess, she had a legendary predecessor in my life.

The car that got me interested in the Type W126 560SEL uber-panzerwagen was a particular 500SEL belonging to my boss when I was an 18 year old yoof. It was "Jewish Racing Gold" with a tan velour interior. Mr D drove the Golden Benz with all the alacrity of a skilled getaway driver …a getaway driver trying to escape a helicopter that is. He had the most aggressive driving style I have ever seen, sitting upright in the seat, not leaning back into it. He held - no, gripped - the steering wheel at the top, with his right forearm wedged against the rest of the enormous wheel. His left arm would hang lazily off the centre armrest with his hand permanently resting on the auto-shifter, poised to drag the shifter back down a gear or two in order to perform some of the most audacious overtaking manoeuvres imaginable. Accompanied by manic laughter while puffing on a Hamlet. You would have to eat a lot of cheese before bedtime to suffer from the kind of nightmares that might equal a Mr D overtaking scenario.

One of Mr D's favourite demonstrations - to show how stable the car was - was to "tear along the dotted line" overtaking at nigh on double the UK speed limit then remove his arm from the wheel and jab viciously at the wheel with his palm. Also accompanied by manic laughter while puffing on a Hamlet. Comparing notes in the tea room, it transpired all the staff at one time or another had been subjected to this.

As a shed-driving teenager, Mr D's techniques were compelling stuff to me. I wouldn't say I always enjoyed them at the time but recounting some of the manoeuvres, some involving opposite lock, to my mates in the pub never failed to help me see the funny side after. Mr D was something of a hero by proxy.

But the other hero of the tales was the car. De-badged (of course) the big Merc could really hustle. It was evidently indestructible and I observed that it was extraordinarily fast, having been present when it shoveled all manner of Italian and German exotica out of its path on motorways. Again, accompanied by Mr D's manic laughter while he puffed on a Hamlet. And it had stamina - Mr D sustained huge velocities to and from his estate in Scotland. Its indestructibility was underlined by the fact that Mr D had previously owned (and destroyed) Granadas, Rover SD1s, Jaguars and BMWs. He'd grenaded engines, pulled off entire door trims when slamming the doors in a huff, or crashed them. Former Mr D-mobiles all ended up in the scrapyard one way or another yet the Golden Benz had, when I met him, already lasted a magnificent four years and everything still worked. There could be no finer advertisement for the durability of Mercedes-Benz.

So it came as a great surprise when one Sunday afternoon I got a call to tow Mr D off the motorway due to a breakdown. I was rather pleased that my three-litre Granada (a type of car Mr D had comprehensively 'proved' to be inadequately durable) was to rescue the World's Most Indestructible Car. So I took my camera…

It being Sunday, having dragged the Merc off the motorway, Mr D decided to leave it in a layby near an AA hut until the morning and cadge a lift home in my car. On Monday Mr D was too busy to sort the car out himself so I was tasked with riding with the auto-electrician to go and fix the car at the roadside. And then (Sweet Mary Mother of Jesus!) drive the Golden Benz back to base! At the ripe old age of 19, this was some treat let me tell you. When the sparky was done, I bid him farewell and leapt into the Merc.

By now it was evening rush hour so the dual carriageway was busy. I selected 'D', put my foot on the brake and watched in the door mirror for a gap in the traffic. The opportunity arrived and I simultaneously released the brake and hit the loud pedal. The revs shot up and the car didn't move …and then I noticed the whiff of smoke in the door mirror and put my foot back on the brake. It had just boiled its hides rather than move. Blimey, this ain't no Granada. With a little more moderation, I launched myself into the traffic flow at the next opportunity. The trip back to the office (about 40 miles) resulted in a personal best of 130 "leptons" on the A5. It was just so-o-o-o easy. I remember, vividly, the moment I hit 130, promptly lost my bottle and backed off. I decided there and then I wanted one of these 'when I grow up'.

Five years later I bought the Golden Benz, with 178,000 miles on the clock. Mr D had acquired a pair of black 500SEC coupes and the Golden Benz was kept in Scotland at his estate. I had my own companies by then and Mr D and I had remained good friends. I took a plane to Inverness to drive the car home. Chasing an NSX out of Lockerbie was as much fun for me as I suspect it was disturbing for the NSX driver with his mirrors full of Merc for 50-odd miles. Age and abuse had certainly had no impact on performance whatsoever. I enjoyed the Golden Benz very much, in particular its party trick of painting black stripes; however…

The curse of ambition is that one always looks for the 'next' thing. "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush" is a concept I wrestle with, preferring to whack the bush in the hope of finding three birds. Therefore, it wasn't long before my restless mind had wandered beyond the 500SEL to thoughts of the uber-panzerwagen: the mighty 5.6 litre 560SEL.

"Authentic Eighties" as the Golden Benz was, it wasn't really my kind of specification, as it was now the Nineties. FBK 236W had cloth not leather, it was gold not blue and, being one of the earliest W126s, was lacking many toys that I knew had since been added. Just as I always have sauce on a 99 ice cream, so must I also have all the possible toys on a car. Except for a particular sub group of 'toys': electronic driving aids. I'll accept ABS, the W126 Merc was the first production car (second if you count the 60s Jensen Interceptor FF) to feature anti-lockers and it's a pretty unobtrusive system. But traction control - ASR in W126 parlance - was not something I wanted arguing with me. This narrowed my search options to Midnight Blue with Magnolia or Mushroom hide, fully loaded, FMBSH and pre-1987 (to avoid ASR). It took a year to find exactly what I wanted, at Hughes of Beaconsfield: a 1987 Midnight Blue 560SEL formerly owned by a Hatton Garden diamond merchant and the rock star Nick Lowe.

I had met The Duchess, a car that would become my 'daily driver' for the next 12 years (and counting).