For most of the Christmas period Mario Kart was running fine and dandy, I’d noticed that it was not gripping as well as normal and that some of the steering feedback had vanished but I put it down to winter conditions and thought nothing of it. However, over a two-week period it got worse: steering feel was disappearing and (I’m no Ninja driver so bear with me on this) that sort of “bite” you get when you turn in was vanishing fast.

It would still go where I pointed it, but something just didn’t feel right. Checked the tyres, dampers and as much as my untrained eye could see and nothing looked wrong. So, I popped into a Renault dealer and explained the situation. Mechanic and service man came out and kicked the tyres for a bit, told me not to worry and said it would be the damp weather and to make sure the traction control was on all the time in the conditions (boo hiss!). So, off I went.

The next day, the fidgety steering was worse than ever and I had an odd moment where the car appeared to suddenly find a load of grip mid corner–like the back lifted up and tightened the line all on its own. Not good as it felt totally out of my control.

The same thing happened on the way home: I caught a totally unexpected massive slide with my Buntaesq skills (Reality: it went a tiny bit sideways out of a very slow roundabout and as I screamed everything sorted itself out). Also, any speed above 60 mph made a nasty sound from the back of the car and the steering would go completely potty and unresponsive. Limp home mode was initiated.

So I took it to Renault in Hexham that weekend, explained the whole thing and begged them to take the car out to experience it themselves to confirm it wasn’t just me going crazy. Seriously, after having the tyres and car looked at twice and been told it was “just me” I was starting to get more than a little worried about both the car and my own sanity. Kindly they offered to look at it right away and the mechanic, “Middle Aged” Chris, took the car out only to return a few minutes later looking a little pale faced and worried.

“It's buggered, mate” was his reply …

Strangely Chris could find nothing wrong with the dampers or suspension. Then he put the car up on the ramp...

After a second or two he started to laugh: he then grabbed a huge bucket and a chisel, which he put against the inside of the wheel, and tapped it with a hammer, sending a huge explosion of mud onto the floor. All four wheels were covered in a thick layer of caked-on mud I hadn’t noticed before. Doh!

So after a little clean up, Mario Kart was back to very rude health. Chris also repaired the front splitter gap by screwing it back up properly which was very kind – I’ll definitely be sending the Mario Kart there for the next service which can only be a few weeks off now.

In the meantime, the recent cold snap saw the front windscreen wipers destroy themselves down to a metal edge tracing an outline that won’t polish out yet. However, replacement wipers are doing a much better job than the old ones and I finally managed to get the car cleaned and waxed after sporting a two-tone mud paint scheme for the entire winter. It looked pretty funny parked up at work like that but its good to see the bright red paint again, albeit with a few new stone chips, which is always a shame.

Over the winter I was invited to join the website for fellow Trophy owners at ClioTrophy.co.uk by one of the mods who run the site, Gareth, who read about the Mario Kart here on auto-journals. The site has a great community of enthusiastic and well-informed Clio fans and is a brilliant place to go if you need to know anything about the Trophy. After seeing some of the modifications made by some of the guys at the site, I’ve been very tempted to blow a load of cash on things like Orbisoud exhaust systems, carbon fiber front splitters and engine mods for the Mario Kart!

To be honest though I think I will keep the Kart standard until the three year warranty is up and use the money for my Hachi Roku project car instead. I like the idea of a bit more power in the Clio, but as I have yet to take it to a trackday would prefer to see how it goes totally standard before I start changing anything. I know this means I’m not playing along with the sprit of our esteemed ten million horse power Z06 owning editor, David Yu, [try and avoid this disease for as long as you can – ed] but promise that when the Hachi does get off the ground, it’s going to be a bit special.

Fingers crossed that the next service and check-up show no major problems, I’m a little worried that the variety of roads that I use (the only motorway work Mario Kart has done was the trip to Goodwood) may have taken their toll on the dampers…gulp.